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杏如是一名在長照機構上大夜班的護理師，她的生活乏善可陳，珍奶雞排是她最好的慰藉。杏如大多時間都是一個人，大夜班也只有她一名護理師，杏如常尋求手機交友軟體緩解寂寞。 就在杏如某夜被一名長臥在床的老先生吃了豆腐，她以為這位老先生早沒了意識，長照機構多得是這樣的人。與此同時，杏如在交友軟體上結識了一位名叫艾瑞克的男子，艾瑞克日日夜夜的語音訊息，融化了杏如的芳心。老先生的性騷擾依舊常態性發生，且每次都“直中要害”，於是她開始懷疑老先生的意識狀態，一些刺激都不能說明老先生意識清醒，好幾次杏如都看不出個所以然。杏如只希望能在幽長的大夜生活之中，得到一些男性賀爾蒙的滋潤。。Romantic entanglements are complicated by a unique silver cow creamer that is desired by both Bertie's Uncle Thomas and his rival, Judge Sir Watkyn Bassett. Sir Watkyn purchases the creamer by telling the shopkeeper, falsely, that Thomas had sent him. Bertie's Aunt Dahlia and friend "Stiffy" Byng both want him to steal the creamer for different reasons, but Judge Sir Watkyn has...。